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Help kids cope with divorce by avoiding these common mistakes

On Behalf of | Jan 25, 2022 | Uncategorized |

When a couple with children goes through a divorce in Maryland, the kids can experience many different emotions. While the parents are likely dealing with legal issues and other complicated matters related to the separation, it’s essential that they also take time to focus on helping the children work through their emotions. Some parents, usually unintentionally, can cause more emotional trauma by forcing their kids into what are called loyalty traps. 

Avoiding loyalty traps 

To avoid placing one’s child into a loyalty trap, divorcing parents should learn about these traps and how they can impact children after such a life-changing event. The four common loyalty traps involve placing a child into one of the following roles: confidant, spy, messenger or ally. Each of these situations can make a child feel uncomfortable and can even cause them to have feelings of guilt about the divorce. 

Parents may feel the need to provide unnecessary details to their child about the causes of the divorce, which is information better left to therapy or chatting with a friend. It’s also important for a divorced parent not to ask prying questions about the other parent to gain information. Attempting to get the child to choose sides by saying negative things about the other parent is very harmful. Lastly, a parent shouldn’t use their child as a go-between to send messages to the other parent. 

Help after divorce 

Going through a divorce is very difficult, especially when there are children involved. Most parents want to do everything possible to help their kids heal and move forward. But sometimes, emotions get in the way and cause parents to put a child in an uncomfortable situation by placing them into one of the common post-divorce loyalty traps. This is not good for kids who are already dealing with so many life changes. Whether one has children or not, it’s always beneficial for Maryland residents to look for guidance from a family law attorney with experience in all divorce-related issues.